Thursday 27 November 2014

Relationships And Emotions talks with Raj

I was listening to a radio show the other day and one of the presenters said something "You have no right to tell someone how they feel or how they should feel". Basically,
you have no right to question a person's feelings even if it's your partner. And I thought to myself " Ehen.....I don dey talk this thing since o!"

Let me talk about this with regards to relationships. When
your partner says he or she is not happy, it's not your place to say how come you are not happy or why shouldn't you be happy? What you should do is find out why the
person is not happy.

By questioning a person's feelings, you are belittling that person and the way they feel. I have found this to be a major problem in relationships. And that's when you will hear one partner accusing the
other of being insensitive to their feelings.

If your partner is upset, you shouldn't challenge them for
being upset, what you should do is try and figure out why he/she is upset. Questions like "why are you getting angry" will only aggravate the situation. Patiently try to find out what the problem is. I know it can be so hard sometimes though......

A successful relationship takes a lot of work. Marriage will take 100 times more. You have two different people from different backgrounds
and personality dating or living together, patience and wisdom will play a huge role in the success of your relationship.

Also willingness of both parties is very healthy. I know a couple that when they have an issue, the husband always wants to talk about it and iron things out while the wife would rather forget about it, sweep it under the rug and act like nothing happened. This constantly frustrates the husband. Slowly their marriage is falling apart but she says she can't see anything wrong. She questions his feelings often
and then shoves them aside telling him he just wants to have something to whine about. The guy don dey look outside o!
Hmmm.....see as devil dey creep in???

Listening and talking are powerful tools in the success of any relationship. I know prayer works but a listening ear is affirmation that you care and you are willing to make things work.

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