MADE IN KSU: funny

Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts

Tuesday 14 March 2017

Video: When KSU Student Waiting To Go For NYSC Hear Asuu Strike Is Over

That moment when you just graduated from kogi state university, and they went on strike for a very long time, you already know you wont be going for nysc quick as your result is not even ready. When the strike is being called off soon enough than expected, this is how you would sure react. watch the video below.

Lmao! See The 5 Words Nigerians Use That Actually Don’t Exist (Add Yours)

While non-Nigerians may doubt my assertion, till they manage to invent a popular version of English like we did (Pidgin English), they can keep on doubting.

Although there are many awesome things Nigerians do, we do have some face palm moments. Don’t laugh too hard at the five words Nigerians use that doesn’t exist in the English dictionary:

1. Installmentally

This doesn’t exist anywhere else except only in Nigeria. If you doubt this, just search”Installmentally” on google and watch only Nigerian sites pop up.

2. Night-Vigil

This is another one I don’t understand. Does anyone ever hold a vigil during the day?

3. Disvirgin

How hard is it to say deflowered? It must be extremely difficult because even health professionals and newsmen use this absurd word that doesn’t exist.

4. Wake Keeping (Wake keep)

Nigerians have not only made the old European custom of watching over a corpse till it’s buried
(called a wake) theirs, they have actually renamed it. Please, there is no such phrase as “wake keep” or even “wake keeping”.

5. Cunny

This is not meant as a euphemism for the female body part. When Nigerians say this word, they mean “cunning”. How is that for a giant leap forward?

Hilarious!!! Read This Funny Love Letter A Ksu Student Wrote To His Lover

Read this love letter ::::

K.S.U
"ILEGRAMMS"
P. O. BOX 21,
Kogi state university AFRICA.
8th June, 1984.

Dear KEMI
Doxology,time and ability plus double capacity has forced my pen to dance automatically on this benedicted sheet of paper. I hope you're swimming in the wonderful pool of good health. I am also parambulating in the wellness of cool breeze here. Sweetie pie, the reason why this miraculous thing happens is because, honey, I love you spontaneously, and as I stand horizontally parallel to the wall and vertically perpendicular to the ground now, I only think of you, since you are a fantastic and fabulous girl put together as FANTABULOUS. Tolany, darling, please stop haranguing with the feelings in my heart because I love you more than a snake loves rat.

To me each day, I start by dreaming of you. Each time I see you, my metabolism suddenly halts and my peristalsis goes in reverse gear. My medula oblangata also ceases to function. Crazy crazy crazy you may say but this is true. If only you knew what is going on in my encephalopathic membrane, you will shake like Shakespeare. That's why I need to see you vis-a-vis soon for a better elucidation through tete-a-tete. No hyperbole & onomatopoeia, simple candidness with sangunity!
I think I have to stop my golden pen here, because I still haven't finished studying electrolysis and polymerization. Pleasee I wish we meet at our spatial location to discuss later.
Sleep tight and don't let those mosquito bite you, because you are too sweet for them.
Goodbye for now.

Your slave-in-love.
Jezzben finnest boy! Don't let you friends see it!

He TRY ABI He NO TRY??
COMMENT JARE!!!!

If You Attended Kogi State University, You Can Relate To These Pictures [Funny

If you were a student of Kogi state university once or you still are, these pictures will make a lot of sense to you… Lol

Five and Six

Bad Belle… I see you

So unfair…

Be lying for your father there

Cheei!

Have mercy on my pocket

Keep space for me for queue, I dey come

God, why me

What am I supposed to do with my life now?

10.

Thunder will strike you

11.

Kip kwayet my friend

12.

You don’t have change abi you don’t have money

13.

Ghen Ghen… You have vexed him

14.

Lazy people smh…

15.

You are so good

16.

I still like my life

17.

So perfect..

18.

Na only Sunday dem dey dress

19.

… The saviour has come back home

20.

After Lectures + Hunger + TDB + Carry Overs has panel beaten you

21.

These social science students sef

22.

But.. Why?

23.

Chimuooooo!!!

24.

Gate fee? What’s that?

25.

Typically Igala

26.

Can’t you just sign the two at once so I won’t have to return?

Source:jollofNigeria.com

VERY FUNNY!! 13 Extremely Funny Quotes By “President Robert Mugabe” On Relationships

Here are some funny quotes you all need to see..
Read below:-

1. “Some women’s legs are like rumors, they just keep on spreading”

2. “It’s hard to bewitch African girls these days because each time you take a piece from her hair to the witch doctor, either a Brazilian innocent woman gets mad or a factory in China catches fire”.

3. “If you are ugly; you are ugly – stop talking about inner beauty because we don’t walk around with X-rays”

4. “Dear sister, don’t be deceived by a man who text you “I miss you” only when it’s raining. You are not an umbrella”.

5. “Check your girlfriend’s body, if she has more tattoos or piercings, you can cheat on her. She is already used to pain.”

6. “Dating a slim or slender guy is cool. The problem is when you are lying on his chest then his ribs draw adidas lines on your face”.

7. “It’s better for a man to be stingy with the money he has hustled for, than for a woman to deny you a hole that she didn’t even drill it herself.”

8. “Some of you girls can’t even jog for 5 minutes but expect a guy to last in bed with you for 2hours??? Your level of selfishness demands a one week crusade”.

9. “If your girlfriend/boyfriend has not taken a picture with you before just make that request and stop forcing Photo Grid to bring you together.”

10. ”God is the best inventor ever. He took a rib from a man and created a loudspeaker”.

11. ”If women think having their period (menstruation) in a whole month is a difficult task, they should ask the men how difficult is it to control an erected pen*s in public.”

12. “Some girls don’t attend the gym but look physically fit because of running from one man to another”

13. “When you kiss a girl from another nationality, do it well because you represent the whole country”