Relationship advice - 5 forbidden types of love you are likely to have in your lifetime

It's not about loose morals or a weak mind, it's just that you may have been on the single market for too long and have a tendency of going into these types of taboo relationships.

Julia Austin of Madame Noire lists these kinds of forbidden love singles are likely to engage in:

Step something: It could be as close as a stepsibling, or a cousin by marriage, or an awkwardly young step-uncle. But, sharing so many similar experiences as pseudo-family does, you can’t help but feel a special bond with a certain attractive non-blood relative at some point.

A neighbour: Simply being exposed to someone repeatedly can play a trick on your mind, making you feel attracted to that person. And the fact that your neighbor is just down the hall or street, so accessible when you’re feeling, um, playful, can make this type of taboo love become hot and heavy fast. But your feelings can be confusing: is it proximity or compatibility that’s keeping things together?

A religiously committed person: Either his family would disown him should he marry a woman outside their religion, or keeping up the religious tradition via marriage/the bloodstream is genuinely important to him—more important than being with “the one.” Either way, you’ll engage in a hot fling with a guy who things really can’t go anywhere serious with due to his religious background.

Lawyer/Client: A lawyer is almost like a therapist—out of necessity, you tell him every last detail of your life. You’ll instantly feel bonded to him for this reason, and, should he like the details of your life, he may develop feelings for you. Get a new lawyer, and get it on.

The renowned jerk: Everyone knows he is a player/doesn’t respect women/thinks he is God’s gift to the earth etc. Nobody likes him. But you—well, you yearn for him. And there’s something hot about dating the bad boy

Read More »

Ladies, How Many Boyfriends Do You Have?

You know that saying "What a man can do, a woman can do better"? Well I hear some chics are better players than men.

Quite often we hear gist about how some dude broke two ladies hearts when they both found out he was two-timing them. A dude having a side chic or several is no longer news but now ladies sef dey get side dudes.
I know it's probably always been in existence but from what I heard it's becoming more rampant and I hear babes are going about it indiscriminately.

A girl can have her main boyfriend and two side dudes or more sef! The main guy probably because she loves him and he is what she needs, the side dude probably to satisfy her needs in the sac, the side dude to satisfy her financial needs which is what she wants and then the ode who she doesn't send and calls only when she needs something.

Some chics can pull this off for months without either guy suspecting a thing. You could be reading this and be thinking "What on earth is Raj on about.....what is the big deal in a girl having two boyfriends????". Well it may not seem like a big deal to you probably 'cause you don dey do am tey tey...lool. But to some it's a big deal o!

So the purpose of this post is to take some heat off the fellas and point the torch at the ladies. So tell us ladies, how many boyfriends do you have now? You ever dated more than one guy at a time? Care to tell us why and what the experience was like.
This post is also for the purpose of gist....come on guys my aproko antenna is on full blast, I need gist. I'm having quite a mundane day at school today which is quite unusual....oya...give me gist abeg o. I promise I won't judge.

Feel free to go anonymous with your response. Fellas, if you have ever been played by a chic kindly share your story. Married women are welcome to share their stories too. And for those of you that will come here to drop judgmental comments.....You know you've done worse, you know you have......you, yes YOU!!!

Read More »

Chasing Mr emotionally Unavailable -

Yes, you know him well, if you’re lucky, you do not,
haha! Ambiguous, tricky to read, blows hot & cold, backs off when you come too close, has a list of excuses as long as his arm with actions rarely
matching his words. He enjoys the benefits of a relationship without truly committing to you. Oh no,
he has no problem with you forever playing laundryman, chef, bed warmer & all-around errand girl, why would he? But demand even the mildest form of committment & you’ll hear “it’s a bad time for me”, “things are really complicated right now”, “i
have a lot going on”… enough excuses to fill a book.

Back In school, I had this friend who lived in the same building as I did, she was dating this piece of work, Mr silky smooth tongue himself, who rarely came by to see her, hardly called, forgot her birthdays & just didn’t DO much of anything really.

The poor girl was forever doing the calling, visiting & everything in between. Her roommate who was
also a friend was never done running upstairs to announce how she felt her friend was dumb as a post, had no mind of her own & was a lethal cocktail of low self esteem & little self worth, how she couldn’t stand watching her act a fool for one more
second & she was totally done advising her & on & on.

They dated on & off till we were done with school & in all that time I never was able to figure out if said boyfriend was emotionally unavailable or just plain unavailable in every single way.

Does this story sound very familiar? Maybe itmirrors your own experience? Are you seeking validation in loveless places? Well,
you know what time it is? it’s time to stop! Stop trying to change someone who doesn’t want to change. Stop walking back to a place where your
heart ran from, stop trusting their words & ignoring their actions. Stop casting your pearls before pigs.

Just STOP! You know you’ll be fine, right? It might hurt now but
someday you’ll look back & smile knowing you came out wiser & stronger & you’ve grown in more ways than one.

Read More »

How To Celebrate VAL With Yor LOVER IF You Are BROKE

Though Valentine day was not intended for romantic relationships, but over the years lovers have hijacked it as a day of celebrating
their love for one another and it seems it will forever remain so.

On valentine day, many people expects gifts from their lovers and maybe for the guy to take them out. (this is a Nigerian mentality though,
as many western and developed nations have surpassed this ”na man suppose take woman out” attitude).
But due to the harsh economic
condition and youth unemployment, valentine is sometimes not enjoyed by the poor and low income earners

Here are ways to go about the valentine day if u don’t have money or broke.

On that day, try to do something no matter how small. On that day, clean your house in a new way possibly, some romantic arrangement with
your lover’s pix or pix of both of you together, hanged/pasted in different places in your room.

Lets assume you have 500 Naira with you, you can buy meat #200, two cups of rice, where i stay its #40 per cup, tin tomatoes and fresh
one #90 and maggi #10 amounting to 400. Ask her to boil rice make stew with those foodstuffs that day. Allow her wear one of your T-shirts while she do the cooking then buy soft
drinks with the remaining #100.

Enjoy the meal together with laughter, teasing, and feeding of each other. Please compliment her cooking. If you are opportuned to have a tv/dvd watch some romantic movies or play music, If you
don’t have, play some party jamz with your phone so both of you can dance for some hours and thereafter play some heart touching cool
music (blues) like:

Forever – Paul Play
I swear – boyz to men
I swear – westlife
Don’t brake ma heart – Banky W
Because you loved me – Celine Dion.

After the music, sit together on your bed, look into her eyes, hold her hands and let her know how your world have not remained the same
since you met her, how you wish to see her grow old with you, how you cherish every moment you spend with her, that she owns your heart alone. Let her know that tomorrow
will be better than today, that you will pay her patience and love with hard work to give both of you a better future. Let her know its not by mr.
Bigg’s, shoprite, Tantalizers etc, but by what you truly feel down your heart and soul.

Retire to your bed late at night and spend the night the way you wish.

Read More »

Raunchy Photos In Relationships (READ UP)

Are you one of those who likes to take pictures of your privates and send to your partner or maybe you guys even get off on exchanging raunchy photos. Maybe that’s your thing.
He’s at class and you send him a photo that makes him loose concentration and cause him to rush home to you.

Or maybe you are in a long distance
relationship and the ones wey una show una self for Skype no reach so you decide to exchange nude and explicit photos. Which is fine but you ever worry that those photos could get into the wrong hands? I’ve heard some people say they don’t include their face in the picture….Oh well! But what of those of you who do. I mean some couples even take naked photos together, some make a home video of themselves doing 'it' Hian!!!

Okay, picture this- This dude has been dating this chic for a couple of months, somewhere in the middle of their relationship they discover they enjoy exchanging raunchy photos of each other. It makes the relationship spicier, interesting, that ‘never a dull moment’ kinda thing. Okay na, few months down the line girl meets rich guy who sweeps her off her feet with everything a girl could ever wish for. So she dumps Le Boo and moves on to the rich guy. Of course Le Boo is not happy about this and decides to revenge by spreading the nude photos of the chic on social media. Typical scenario isn’t it. Yet a lot of people still make the same mistake.

Ladies, do you know that most guys are not ashamed of being seen naked especially the.ones that are ‘packing’. So even if you decide to revenge, you’d just end up spreading more nude photos of yourself all over the internet. Or what else are you gonna do, have him killed??? Pffttt!!!
Technology has afforded us a lot of luxury and.convenience as well as a truck load of inconvenience and embarrassment. I’m not saying couples shouldn't feel free to express themselves which ever way they choose to in their relationship but ladies, you have more to loose. I think it’s safer when married couples do it. What crazy guy is going to spread naked photos of his wife and possibly the mother of his children all over social media? Maybe there are such crazy dudes sha…

I have this male friend who considers himself a ladies man. Well, I think he is and he’s also what you might call a confirmed bachelor.
Chics are always sending him raunchy photos of themselves. Some are kind to eyes some are out rightly disgusting. Some chics dey craze oh! Anyways, what’s your take on exchanging nude and raunchy photos with your partner?.Done it before? Still doing it? ‘fess up oh! And you can tell us how it has helped your relationship maybe some people might want to start to help save their relationship *runs away.

Read More »

RELATIONSHIP TALK WITH RAJ - “Girls, 10 Things You Shouldn’t Do When You Meet A New Guy”

Babes, 10 things you shouldn’t do when you meet a new guy .

Some Ladies today wonder why after a guy has shown interest in them or after 2/3 dates he disappears or doesn’t return their phone calls, text, whatsapp and bbm messages.
I have listed some of these reasons below


1) Don’t Take Your Friends Along When He Invites You on a Date :
Some Nigerian Ladies for some reason that is beyond me, take their friends on a date with a guy they just met.
I can attest to this because it has happened to me before. No positive outcome can come out of this but some of the negatives are:
(i) The guy will be turned off
(ii) He may start liking or prefer one for your friends to you
(iii) He will never get the opportunity to know you as much as he wants because of the 3rd wheel
(iv) He may think you don’t have a mind of your own
(v) He may turn you and your friends back

(2) Don’t Go To His House Unannounced :
One thing a man hates the most is for you to show up at his house unannounced or invited especially
when he just met you.
That’s a “NO NO” because he’ll just think you’re a stalker or a psycho and he’ll act out.. Some ladies out of emotions and lack of trust show up at a guys house, what they don’t know is they are pushing him away or giving him reasons to leave.

(3) Don’t Ask Him For Money :
Some Ladies meet a guy and in less than 2/3 weeks the demands start rolling in. Please pay for my hair, buy me birkin bag for my birthday, my rent is due, or plain & simply, I need money for handouts and assignments. Every guy would take off when they meet a Lady like this. They would say she’s opportunistic and compare her to the ladies who are not asking them
for a kobo or dime.

(4) Don’t Compare Him To Your Ex or Talk About Your Ex, Only If He Requests :
Some Ladies compare and contrast their new guy to their old one, not only in their mind but to his face
as well. They say things like my Ladi used to take me to TITO, ITEM 7, YUMMIES, you’re taking me to that EATRY i dont like, Jide bought me
Prada for my birthday last year you’re buying me Zara.. Guys hate being compared, it punctures their
Ego so allow him be the Boss and take you out,.don’t compare or dictate terms of dates or gifts.

(5) Don’t Be To Quick To Upload His Pictures on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter (Social Media) :
Ladies, you just met a guy, a new flame, the relationship is at its early stages, there’s still so much you don’t know about him why upload his pictures for the world to see?
The relationship may not even be defined yet.. By doing this, you’re giving people room to influence
and alter your infant relationship.
Also you don’t want to be like those people who have to cleanse their instagram and Facebook pages of a guys picture every 6 months because of a breakup.

(6) Don’t Wear See Through or Exposing Outfits on your First Date:
Guys are very Impulsive and instinctive by nature, by wearing a dress or gown that’s says “SEX” that’s all that will be on his mind and nothing else. He won’t want to hear anything about you anymore; your personality, your job, your family etc.
All he’ll be thinking about is how he’ll take you to his house or hotel room because you’ve sent him a signal saying you want sex.

(7) Don’t Bore Him With Your Family Issues:
Some ladies carry their personal or family problems out with them on dates, instead of making waves
and progress with their new guy, they talk about how their house got burnt last week, or how their friend always borrows money or clothes from them,
or how they hate their sisters or brothers.. All these are TMI (Too Much Information) Focus on him and
let him Focus on you.. Don’t allow extraneous variables creep in and take over your conversation

(8) Don’t Talk About Marriage or The Future:
The number one thing guys are scared of after God is Commitment or Marriage so if you just met a guy
and you’re already talking about marriage or children he is definitely going to take off and say you’re putting him under pressure and he can’t keep up.. Let him be the one to bring it up not you because he’ll say you’re desperate.

(9) Don’t Pry About His Pocket, Earnings or The Car He Drives or Similar Stuffs :

(10) Don’t Get Drunk on Your First Outing With Him:
Firstly Ladies, this is for your own safety a lot of ladies have been taken advantage of because they were intoxicated. You also don’t want to embarrass yourself and say or do things that you can’t defend or verify

Read More »

RELATIONSHIP TALKS WITH RAJ: BE CAREFUL OF WHAT YOU SHARE WITH YOUR LOVER

BE CAREFUL OF WHAT YOU SHARE WITH YOUR LOVER, Cos if you turn he/she to an EX, they would do anything to get back at you


Hello, there. You know, nobody dates or goes into a relationship with the hope that it wouldn't work out.
We go out on dates, in hopes of meeting the right one.

We go into relationships with high hopes that this person will remain in our life for a long time. But most of us don't take time to think about what
happens if it doesn't work out.
And we definitely don't think about what if we are the one that actually does the breaking up. Some people don't deal with break up's well,
especially if they are the "dumpee", it can make them do things, they are not capable of doing on a normal day.

Most people handle break up's dealing with the NORMAL emotions that come with breaking up.
We take the time we need to process our emotions, get over it, and move on. Some people can't do that! They set out to basically get revenge especially since the internet gives us so many ways to do so.

Revenge on an ex lover is not the best. All we see is post break up slander like 'he had a small one' or 'he couldn't keep it up' or 'one
minute man', a nude picture of an ex girlfriend disrespecting her and her family.

I am sure those people promised not to share them, so of course they are to blame for their actions. But this reminds me of that story that ends with
"you knew I was a snake when you picked me up."
So one should be careful of what they share with their lover because you may never know.

There is a thing called privacy and when two people are involved in private moments, it should
always be just that...PRIVATE.

As the legendary Rick Flair would say, "You can't unring a bell."
That image is going to be out there forever so think twice before you destroy someone's life (someone you probably still love) because you
were dumped.
You may get yourself in trouble to.

Read More »

Relationships And Emotions talks with Raj

I was listening to a radio show the other day and one of the presenters said something "You have no right to tell someone how they feel or how they should feel". Basically,
you have no right to question a person's feelings even if it's your partner. And I thought to myself " Ehen.....I don dey talk this thing since o!"

Let me talk about this with regards to relationships. When
your partner says he or she is not happy, it's not your place to say how come you are not happy or why shouldn't you be happy? What you should do is find out why the
person is not happy.

By questioning a person's feelings, you are belittling that person and the way they feel. I have found this to be a major problem in relationships. And that's when you will hear one partner accusing the
other of being insensitive to their feelings.

If your partner is upset, you shouldn't challenge them for
being upset, what you should do is try and figure out why he/she is upset. Questions like "why are you getting angry" will only aggravate the situation. Patiently try to find out what the problem is. I know it can be so hard sometimes though......

A successful relationship takes a lot of work. Marriage will take 100 times more. You have two different people from different backgrounds
and personality dating or living together, patience and wisdom will play a huge role in the success of your relationship.

Also willingness of both parties is very healthy. I know a couple that when they have an issue, the husband always wants to talk about it and iron things out while the wife would rather forget about it, sweep it under the rug and act like nothing happened. This constantly frustrates the husband. Slowly their marriage is falling apart but she says she can't see anything wrong. She questions his feelings often
and then shoves them aside telling him he just wants to have something to whine about. The guy don dey look outside o!
Hmmm.....see as devil dey creep in???

Listening and talking are powerful tools in the success of any relationship. I know prayer works but a listening ear is affirmation that you care and you are willing to make things work.

Read More »