Sex and the City's iconic star, Sarah Jessica Parker turned 50 recently, and although the series has been wrapped up over a decade ago, it is still very much a part of our popular imagination.
It showed the way people in their 30s, 40s and 50s how to date, have more (and better) sex and also find love. However, the show was ultimately fantasy, having a fun and active dating life as a mature single isn't out fo reach.
In honour of Parker and all of you out there who are single and still looking for love, here are some dating tips from love experts as written by Simone Piget:
Make finding love a priority: According to midlife dating coach, speaker and author April Braswell, if you want to find love, you need to make it a priority. "Of course, don't neglect your career and family, but really your kids would probably really appreciate it if you dated...when it’s your custody weekend, hire a babysitter and attend that singles mixer for three hours. It’s ok for you to be out for a few hours," says Braswell. "Your kids need to see your example for how to treat dating and finding your life’s mate," she says.
Make sure you’re ready to date: One of Canada's leading matchmakers, Jane Carsten, who is based in Vancouver, it’s all about taking baby steps. "The biggest mistake people make is they jump back into dating when they haven’t got their stuff in order." In other words, just because you can date, doesn’t mean you should. The Midlife Dating Coach, Ronnie Joy, is a life coach who helps midlife singles find love. As she explains, it’s important that you let go of past frustrations and failures so you can feel good about who you are now. "If necessary, work on your emotions with a professional until you are truly ready to open up to a new relationship," she says.
Feel good about yourself: You don’t have to take a page from Parker’s fictional alter ego, Carrie Bradshaw, and squander your savings on $700 shoes, however looking your best often equates with feeling your best. As Joy explains, "If you’re not happy with how you look, make some changes. Update your hairstyle or buy new clothes that are flattering and make you feel confident."
Don't be afraid to mix it up: Although online dating is great, Joy is of the opinion that you shouldn’t be afraid to connect with other singles 'in the wild.' Braswell seconds this, and encourages singles to get out there and enjoy life. "Vary the activities, events, sites and hosts of the items you schedule into your weekly agenda. While midlife couples met through one particular venue or activity, it’s because they were engaged in multiple endeavors that they found each other and were ready for love."
Dump the old rules: As Carsten points out, if you’re back on the dating scene after a long break, you need to open yourself to completely new possibilities. "To score at true love, you’ve got to have a different action plan," says Carsten. Some of the best advice she has for singles: "Take baby steps. Trust your intuition and your heart. Give love a chance."
Stay positive and leave the past where it belongs - the past: As Joy points out, when it comes to creating an online dating profile, it’s important that you stay present. Use current photos and check negativity at the door. "Never reference your horrendous divorce or disappointments with first dates. Focus on your current interests, passions and uniqueness," says Joy.
Meet new people daily: As Braswell points out, most professionals over 40 are at the busiest time of their careers. However it’s important you make time to meet new people, even if it’s just 15 minutes per day. "Get your morning coffee break beverage at the local coffee bar. Practice breaking the ice and flirting comfortably so they become part of your normal daily behaviour. Then when you meet someone who curls your toes, you’re ready!" says Braswell.
